Jaded

I have to learn to fight my natural urge. No matter how much or how badly Dan and I want this, no matter how READY we believe we are, no matter that last summer we loved the IDEA of having a baby and a family and now we KNOW this is who we are meant to be, I doubt. I fear if those two pink lines show up, they will go away. My brain becomes my worst enemy. My body is a tease. Worst, "God's plan isn't always our plan, BLAH BLAH BLAH!"

BUT, I know God doesn't tease us. I also know that he built our bodies perfectly and if one thing is off in that little embryo, it won't work out. BUT, I could never survive if I let my doubts overwhelm my sensibility. The Dr. said he would watch us. The Dr. said he believes the future holds a baby of our own. Relax Rach. Dan jokes around, "What would Dan do?" Cautious optimism. Rub rub rub pray pray pray.