Humbling

Today we told all of Dan's extended fam about Mulva. It was a beautiful moment to share with his aunts, who seem to know in their souls this is what we have wanted for so long. It makes everything so much more real when sharing with people who don't know our history. They don't know to be cautious or afraid for us. They can be genuinely happy. I still, however, don't know if I can make this "facebook official". The whole idea seems shallow and inappropriate to me. The only thing I generally use FB for is random thoughts and exclamations about things that happen in my life. I also know what it feels like to read people's status updates about their impending births on a daily basis, only to block them from my newsfeed because it's too hard to read. I don't know who may be going through the same thing I did, but it's hard to imagine doing that to others. I don't want to operate in fear and I am so excited and blessed to be carrying this child...I just don't know that I am ready for the FB world yet. Besides, everyone who needs to know, knows...right?

If this is going to be a website dedicated to my unborn child then I think honesty is very important. In the midst of family party today, I was a careless. Sitting outside in the sun for a several hours, sweating every liquid from my body...it was irresponsible. I started cramping. It was paralyzing. I had been sitting by the side of the pool, drinking my water, talking with people. I knew I needed to get inside. I found Dan and the look on his face...it can't be verbalized. The cramps were painful and recurrent. After sitting in the cold basement for an hour and drinking 48oz of ice water I started to feel better. I think it was part digestive, which could also be related to the sun, but it was definitely dehydration. How silly and irresponsible of me! How could I forget how important it is to take care of my body?! Now I am praying to feel movement. Some little sign that Mulva knows I haven't forsaken her...or him. What a slap in the face. I have been given the opportunity to be a vessel for this baby. My life is no longer my own. Everything I do and touch affects this baby. Shame on those who don't realize the same! Shame on me for my flighty ignorance! I have been incredibly humbled. Thank you Lord.