Amazing Grace

There, but for the grace of God, go I.

Landon Daniel, born December 14, 2011. He is the most amazing, and perfect human being I have ever known. It's amazing that we are allowed home from the hospital with babies. What do I know about raising another human being? I am harassing friends with little ones for their wisdom and guidance. Would I know what I was doing if I was Eve? First baby ever born and she had no one to ask. One could argue it's part of her punishment along with the pain of childbirth, but I digress. When he is screaming, when he is cooing, when he sleeps, I am in awe of him. Every day he learns something new. He stares at me a little more. He pulls his legs up a little higher. God created us so perfectly that we are born with all we need to survive. We have the fingernails, the eyelashes, the small intestines that are necessary for us to grow and thrive. Even the ugly, late night wailing is amazing to me.

We were watching a movie the other night, Blue Valentine. On a side note, it was depressing and anti-climatic. However, there is a scene where the main female character goes to a clinic to have an abortion. I was holding Landon. I felt the acid rising in my throat. My eyes began to well. I had to leave the room. It doesn't matter that I am now in possession of my very heart's desire. The miraculous nature of human life never ceases to render me speechless. I have so many words for those who choose to slaughter the life inside them... My point is that it will never escape me, how deep my sorrows were over the past two years. There are so many wonderful people in this world who long for their own children. Women and men who are desperate to grow their family and fulfill their hearts' desires. I am so blessed to have my prayers answered. I will never forget that.